Some say that people towards the end of their 30s will experience many life struggles. People at that age are prepared to choose how they will live the rest of their lives: either living by only thinking about the pleasures of the world, enjoying what is there until death finally arrives, or living by improving spiritually, learning to feel enough, and feeling happy from small things that are worth being grateful for.

Today, I am 39 years old. In the past few years, I have experienced so many blows in my life. They have made me cry, hurt, sad, disappointed, angry, and even reached a point where I lost faith. It has been very difficult to pick myself up and re-motivate myself to move forward.

I’m not trying to be corny here, but what I wrote in the first paragraph of this post is starting to feel real. Behind everything I have been going through, there seems to be the decision of how I want to live my life in my 40s and long after, if Allah grants me a long life. I may not have made a unanimous decision yet, there are still many things I need to work on to finally be able to be relieved and firmly plan my life later, but one thing is for sure, I won’t stop. I will continue to live this life.